now is a good time to panic


adventure at the beach (in pictures)

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the fish and chips solution

As previously discussed, Kaiser the Wonderdog has a severe allergy to fleas. I’ve been experimenting with home remedies and am currently trying one that seems to be working. I’ve been taking a half and half solution of cheap white vinegar and water and rubbing it on his fur. Supposedly, fleas hate vinegar. I’m not sure who polled them, but the consensus appears to be correct.

On Thursday I gave Kaiser a haircut and then tried the vinegar/water rubdown. I’ve been repeating the rubdown every night, and I’ve so far only found six fleas on him since then. SIX! Before there were over a dozen at any given moment in time. This is momentous, people. He’s no longer frantically gnawing at his flesh.

The only drawback is that when he comes to snuggle with me in bed, I’ve been craving fish and chips. Constantly. I even dreamed about fish and chips last night. It’s getting out of hand.

Whatever works, though, right? I’ve finally figured out a way to be smarter than the damned fleas.



ron, sully, and kai
18 June 2012, 8:30 am
Filed under: kaiser the wonderdog, life in general, nonsense | Tags: , , , ,

Sometimes when Kaiser looks at me in a certain way, he looks like a cross between Sully from Monsters Inc and Ron Perlman.



bath time!
13 June 2012, 8:30 am
Filed under: kaiser the wonderdog, life in general | Tags: , , , , ,

Kaiser the Wonderdog is a superhero. All superheros have their weak spot, though. His kryptonite is fleas. He’s actually allergic to the little bastards. He can’t just get bitten and scratch like other dogs. With one flea bite, he actually gets a rash and tries to chew his skin off just to stop the itching. It breaks my heart to see it.

 

Summertime is here, and along with summer comes an increase in fleas. Since frontline and advantix and all those don’t do a damn thing for him, I tried some kind of flea/tick killer that you squirt on him and rub into his fur. I was scratching the rash on his back for him when I realized that the spray stuff had actually eaten the nail polish off of my nails. Holy shit. I immediately gave him a bath to get it off and now he’s all better. He had red splotches all over him for another day from the chemicals in that spray, though.  Since nothing is working to keep the fleas off of him, I have to give him a bath every day. I use the special schmancy shampoo from the vet once a week, and the rest of the time I use Hartz oatmeal flea and tick killer doggie shampoo.

 

When I use the schmancy shampoo from the vet, I need to get him wet, massage it into his fur, and then let it sit for ten minutes before rinsing him off. That way it soothes his skin, too. It helps with the rashes and the itching from the flea bites. Since I’m not about to sit on the side of the bathtub for ten minutes and wait, I bring the dog into the shower with me. I rinse him and then rub the shampoo in, and he sits on the floor of the tub while I take my shower. Showering takes me about ten minutes, so when I’m finished, I rinse him off and then set him free.

 

While I’m showering he just sits in the bottom of the bathtub and looks pathetic. He won’t even look at me when I call his name or talk to him or anything. I wanted to get pictures so you could see how pitiful he looks, but he refuses to look at me or the camera. This is all I managed to get:

 

 

 

Pathetic, isn’t he? I think that when he’s wet, he looks like something that washed up on the beach after a typhoon. It’s okay, though, because after his bath he looked like this:

 

 

All handsome again!

 

I’m going to have to give him a haircut soon… he’s starting to look like a homeless dumpster dog.



gettin shit done!

Yesterday was a busy day. Kathy and I went to the commissary for groceries and then I went to the Education Office to see the UMUC rep. Yay! Since I’ve already taken classes through UMUC (thanks, Jess!), I don’t have to do all the enrollment crap. I also took Jo’s advice and stood on a chair to announce my major. The two rep ladies were unimpressed, but you know. It had to be done. Marketing is exciting.

 

On Monday I’ll check my email and hopefully there will be a tentative course schedule waiting for my approval. Then I’ll be legit, y’all! Perhaps… too legit to quit? No? Did I take that too far? Okay. Sorry.

 

Just as an update (because I know you’re all very concerned), Kaiser’s tummy troubles are much much better now. We’ve figured out that the chicken/rice based dog foods instead of the beef/corn ones are the key. I think the one we bought yesterday has oatmeal, too. The damn dogs are eating better than the rest of us.

 

I also found some brand new brown leather wedges in my boxes yesterday, so today I took the liberty of wearing the hell out of them. Yellow sundress, yellow and brown leather swap meet knockoff  coach purse, brown leather wedges… I looked cute as a button, FYI. I thought you all might want to know.

 

That is all for today. Thanks for flying.



booties, vomit, and twigs
17 March 2012, 8:41 am
Filed under: kaiser the wonderdog, nonsense | Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

 

 

 

Since my dad’s guest post yesterday was pet-based, I thought I’d share a little story. 

 

I had grown up with fairly large dogs, but while stationed in Japan, I fell in love with Kaiser the Wonderdog. Since Kaiser doesn’t have an undercoat, in the winter he completely freezes, so he gets to wear little sweaters when we go for walks. He doesn’t care, because in his mind sweater=walkies. The first winter that I had him, I tried those little booties, but that was a bad idea. First he pulled them off, then he chewed them up, then he ate them. Instead of stopping there, he proceeded to immediately throw them up, then rolled around in the vomit. Needless to say, I never tried the booties again. He taught me a lesson.

 

Now it’s seven years later, and we still have our gross moments. Like most dogs, he eats grass when his tummy is upset, and sometimes there’s a twig or two in there. When he goes to poop later, sometimes the twigs only come out part of the way, and then he completely freaks and runs in circles. I have to chase him down, paper towel in hand, and pull the twig the rest of the way out. These were not the scenarios that I had in mind when I got him, I promise you. He’s lucky he’s so cute.

 

 

 



picture time!

Hello there! It’s been a few days since we last chatted. I’ve been a busy girl. Kaiser and I have been back to the vet. His crazy eye is almost completely healed, but now he’s having tummy troubles. :( Currently he’s on a strict diet of overcooked mushy rice in chicken broth, which his Aunt Kathy lovingly prepares for him every other day. Here is a picture of the non-crazy-eyed, tummy-troubled Kaiser.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Next up, RIP Reef Flip Flops. You were good flip flops. You supported my arches, you were very comfy, and you had bottle openers on your soles so that I was never without a way to open my favored beverages of barley and hops. I will miss you very much. I’m sorry you fell apart on Therapy Day and I had to crochet you back together just to make it out to the parking garage and up to my car. I will miss you very much. It will cost me like $50 to replace you, and that also makes me very sad.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The other day I mentioned in an off handed manner to Kathy that I haven’t had wings for awhile and I was craving them. A few hours later, she announced that she had made lunch and this was on the table. Oh hell yes. My life is awesome.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I took Kaiser to the beach on Thursday and there was a monk seal sleeping on the beach. They normally come up to rest, and there are bright orange plastic nets set up and signs posted telling everyone to be quiet and someone from the park service standing there making sure asshole tourists don’t hop the netting and hassle the seals. They also bite.(the seals, not the tourists) I could get pretty close to snap a few pictures, because this seal was alone on the beach- I didn’t realize it until later, but there was nobody there but me and her and Kaiser for several hours that morning.




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