now is a good time to panic


validation part I
1 July 2012, 8:30 am
Filed under: therapy | Tags: , , , , ,

So as previously mentioned on therapy day, I go to the Honolulu VA for my medical stuff. They take care of my back pain, my crazy appointments and everything. It’s nice. Much easier than trying to get in at Tripler Army Medical Center or the Hickam clinic or something like that. Besides, there’s a lot more assholes at the other two places that take up all the decent appointment slots with the good docs.

 

Anyway, back to the VA. My therapist’s name is Alison, and she’s great. I love her. She and Alicia (the woman who runs my group therapy) are big on validation. They push the belief that you shouldn’t need anyone else to make you feel good about yourself. You should never apologize for your feelings, because they’re valid, and must come from somewhere.

 

My friend Barbara has a thing about pointing. She will flip her shit if you point at her, or if your kids point at each other while talking or whatever. I’ve never asked her why that is, because I know she’ll just tell me how rude it is and that’s why her kids aren’t allowed to do it. It must have come from somewhere, though. Maybe she pointed disrespectfully at her grandmother while growing up and got the shit beat out of her. Maybe someone put their finger in her face right before they told her that her kitty cat got hit by a car. (I don’t think she has ever had a cat, so don’t any of you get sad)

 

We all have things like that. They seem strange or inexplicable on the surface, but there’s going to be a reason behind it… you just have to dig deep enough. My personal issue is the silent treatment. I’d honestly rather be smacked around by my significant other than be ignored. At least if I’m getting beat on and screamed at, there’s acknowledgement that I exist. I am a person. We might be fighting at the moment, but at least give me the courtesy of not treating me as a non-entity. I was talking to my friend Cara about this, and she shrugged her shoulders and told me that she personally finds silent treatment a peaceful, restful break. I’ve tried to look at it that way, but it doesn’t work like that for me.

 

There’s more I want to say on the subject of validation, in a whole different direction. I’m sick of typing, though, so that’s all for today. I’ll pick back up on Tuesday, because tomorrow is model monday! Wooo!

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1 Comment so far
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Never thought of the silent treatment like that. I think I’d have to agree with you Katie. It irritates the hell outta me when someone ignores me. I’m a person. I don’t care if you’re mad at me, but just please acknowledge me as a person.

Comment by triing2survive




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