now is a good time to panic

17 June 2012, 8:30 am
Filed under: life in general, looooove | Tags: , , , ,

Let’s talk about men today. All kinds of men. I love them. I adore men. They’re so USEFUL. They move couches, open jars, program the time on the DVD/VCR thing, kill bugs, hook up entertainment systems… and they always know what all the remotes do when you go to other people’s houses. Also, they always clean their plates and say nice things.

Like most women, I have demands for my man. We all want a significant other with a job, and we want them to be good looking and kind and funny. There’s a few little things, too, though, that can’t be forgotten in the search for a soulmate.

I’ve always wanted a man that will give foot rubs. I’ve had one of those men, and it didn’t very happen often, but when it did I was in heaven. Also, it would be AMAZING if they would help me paint my toes. I already have back problems, and leaning over my knees and attempting to paint my toenails while my back spasms and knots REALLY blows. I’ve haven’t been surprised nearly enough. I’m talking about good surprises, though… not the ‘by the way I got drunk and slept with your sister’ kind of surprises. Nobody wants those. I need a few compliments on my cooking once in a while, and when I ask ‘what do you want to do today?’ I actually need an answer. Saying ‘I don’t know, what do YOU want to do?’ EVERY SINGLE TIME is not okay. That’s too much pressure on me. I don’t want to do the planning 100% of the time. Be creative, because sometimes I’m just not up to it.

I have a few pet peeves, too. I HATE when men get out of the shower and the mirror is fogged up, so they wipe it with their hand. It not only fogs right back up, now it’s smeared. Awesome. Dishes abandoned in the sink sucks big time. Nobody wants to wake up to a sinkful of dirty dishes and fruit flies. That’s gross. Leaving things around the house that don’t belong there, like a  pair of shoes and a stack of library books on the kitchen counter, or clothing and dirty dishes on the coffee table. Things like those bug the shit out of me. This is probably one of the leading reasons why I don’t have and don’t want children.

I know all man AND women have a list of demands. What are yours?


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