now is a good time to panic

11 June 2012, 8:30 am
Filed under: hawaii, nonsense | Tags: , , , ,

Okay, so finding the roach in the house was gross. It’s not something that happens often, thankfully. I think I’m jinxed when it comes to bugs, though.

Before I left for Kauai, I moved Kaiser’s food and water from the kitchen floor up to my bedroom on the second floor. I set it next to the sliding glass door that leads out to the balcony and deck. That way it was visible from the hallway, and easier for Pam to keep an eye on his bowls. No big deal, right? I keep the sliding glass door open all the time, but the screen door closed. That way I get nice breezes in my room without all the mosquitoes.

While I was on vacation, one of Pam’s cats (I suspect it was Betsy Betsy) head butted the corner of my sliding screen door until it pulled away so she could come and go indoors and out as she pleased. It was like that when I came home, and I didn’t think twice about it. Kaiser’s food and water bowls were back in the kitchen, and it’s not like we have rats on our roof or anything, so I just left the screen like it was. I’ve already fixed it before, so I’m not trying to get into an ongoing screen battle with the cats. There’s three of them, so I’m pretty sure I’ll lose.

The other night I was hanging out on my bed, crocheting and watching The Survivors when I saw something move. I ripped the covers aside and saw THIS:

NOPE! Nope nope nope! Of course I smashed the shit out of it (that’s why there’s white stuff coming out of its side and a broken antennae). Afterwards I put it on the bathroom counter and took a picture. Then I flushed that bad boy down the toilet while I shuddered.

I showed the picture to Pam and was all THIS WAS IN MY GODDAMNED BED OMMFG… naturally she freaked out, too. She did some research and found out that our little friend is called an earwig (just the thought of that thing near my ears makes me want to throw up). They eat… get this… dog food. He must have come in when the bowl of dog food was next to the screen door.

It’s been a few days and even now when I see the picture my only reaction is to shudder until I actually have chills going down my spine and bile in my throat. The thought of this crawling on me is enough to give me nightmares. You know the worst part? IT’S MY OWN FAULT. If I had either fixed the screen door or not brought Kaiser’s food upstairs in the first place (or hell, why not both?!), that nasty thing never would have come in.

I told Pam that after finding that thing, I wanted to pour a salt circle around my room (like you to do protect yourself from demons and ghosts), and she suggested smudging with sage. I’m glad she understands the depth of my disgust. I’ve torn the room apart looking for any evidence of more, but it seems that was an isolated incident. Praise the little baby Jesus in a manger.

If I see another one of those things, then fuck it. I’m sleeping in the truck.


5 Comments so far
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I got nothing, those things are just gross. The downside of living in paradise!

Comment by Jo

Sick & wrong!!! Just sick & wrong!!! That things is disgusting looking. I would’ve come unglued too if I found that in my bed.

Comment by triing2survive

I almost wet my yoga pants. For reals.

Comment by kathelldorfer

It is flea season here and I spend at least 30-40 minutes a night flea combing Grizzy and if I do not and skip a night, I pay with a solid hour the following evening . I have mode flea bite bumps than hair- just kidding, but almost!!

Comment by susan

Poor Grizzy! My feet have flea bites on them, and I’ve found one on my side, one on my stomach. Fingers crossed that the new vinegar/water fur rub solution will help encourage them to leave.

Comment by kathelldorfer

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