now is a good time to panic

assholery resolved
22 April 2012, 8:30 am
Filed under: hawaii, life in general, nonsense | Tags: , , , , , , ,

I’m sorry I haven’t been posting lately… I’ve had shit to do. I’m a very busy and important person, you know. Not really, but okay. I was sitting outside talking to Kathy the other day when our neighbor’s two daughters came walking across the back yard, wheeling my bike! It still had my helmet on it and everything, but the seat had been adjusted for someone much taller than I am. They told me that they saw it over by one of the parks, and thought it looked like mine. They checked the front porch, and when they saw that my bike wasn’t there, they went and got it to show me.


These two girls are adorable, and very sweet. I’m pretty sure that they’re under 10 years old, but I’m not good at judging the ages of children. Until you’re old enough to vote and/or buy alcohol, you aren’t actually a real person to me. I don’t know what to do when small children talk to me, either. If I understand them, then I just speak to them like they’re adults (with a lot of language and subject matter clean-up, of course). If I don’t understand what they’re talking about, then they kind of turn into little monkeys to me. They just run around, jabbering, and I expect them to start flinging feces at any moment.


So yes. My bike has been returned to me by two tiny heroes, and all is right with the world. It’s now being stored on our back porch, and it’s definitely locked. My life is good again. I know you were all very worried about me and my bike, so you can sleep easy tonight.


I hope you’re all having a great weekend!


3 Comments so far
Leave a comment

You must bake them cookies of awesome in thanks. Muah!

Comment by Dawn Montgomery

There is nothing more frustrating than a thief who takes your bike and discards it after he. she is finished – he could have brought it back and left it in your yard, Some people are just scum!

Comment by Mom

Yay!!! Glad you got the Odyssey back!

Comment by triing2survive

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