now is a good time to panic

have you seen my baseball?
15 April 2012, 8:00 am
Filed under: life in general, nonsense | Tags: , , , , ,

Last weekend I went to cheer for my favorite minor in his baseball game. His name is Jordan and he’s freaking awesome. He’s actually a year or two younger than the cutoff for the team he plays for… but he’s just that good. I LOVE to watch him play, because he’s serious about it. He knows what he has to do and goes out there and makes it look easy. His mom’s name is Chandra, and we’ve been friends for about a year. She is super and I wish she was a man. I would date her so hard, then marry the shit out of her. But unfortunately, she has lady bits and is therefore ineligible for my romantic focus. We do joke about how Jordan and I are engaged to be engaged to be engaged, but in a totally non-creepy way. I know it sounds creepy, but I swear it’s not.  I promise.


Last weekend Chandra and Jordan picked me up to help cheer for him at his Saturday morning game. I brought Kaiser the Wonderdog with us, and we had a great time. I don’t know about you guys, but I really get into things when I’m at a game. I usually have no voice the next day, and along with the standard baseball/softball advice and cheers (‘Get under it’, ‘Yay to get a piece’, ‘Elbows up’, etc) I get a little ridiculous. Jordan has grown his hair into a big white boy fro, and I was yelling stuff like ‘Get a haircut, hippie!’ and when there was a play he had nothing to do with I’d be all ‘Yeah, Jay! Way to go! Nice job!’. His team is the Pirates, and after a while I ran out of stuff to yell and started screaming ‘AAARRRGGGHHH!!! PIRATES!!! YAAAARRRRR!’.


I told Chandra that as soon as they dropped me off Jordan was going to be all ‘Mom. Do not ever invite Katie again. She is totally embarrassing’. I guess it wasn’t too bad, though, because they let me come to yesterday’s double header and today’s game. His head coach is way too much with the kids. They all tried out for this team, and they are all there because they love it. He gets pissed off so easily, and screams at them nonstop. Biggest. Douchebag. Ever. At last weekend’s game, he told Jordan that if his mom and her friend didn’t quiet down, Jordan was going to be riding the bench. Jordan rolled his eyes and told him ‘YOU go say something. I’ll quit if you bench me’ and that was the end of that. Really? Quiet down? What a jackass. We weren’t cursing or booing any of the kids, and we were even cheering some for the other team… so what’s the problem? As long as you keep it clean, I’m not sure what’s so bad about cheering for the kids.


All douchebaggery aside, we have fun. I know that Chandra’s life would be complete if there was some kind of snack stand so she could get nachos, but that’s too much to hope for at an on base little league game. Today there’s another game. I have to leave a little early for a lady date (wine tasting!), but I’ll be there for the majority of the game. I’ll also be a little overdressed for the game so that I can leave straight for my lady date. I know I’ll look a little silly in my dress and espadrilles, but that’s okay. :) Anything for my Jordan! You never know… maybe I’ll start a trend. Everyone will be all fancified for these games and start showing up in red carpet wear. Ladies in gowns and tiaras, men with tuxedos and canes. You know how we do around here! You’ll need to step it up if you want to come to OUR games. We’re fancy like that.


9 Comments so far
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You always were overly enthusiastic like that . The yelling… The jumping up and down… That was the reason we had to stop taking you to church.

Comment by Dad

LMAO You are ridiculous, Daddy. Just so everyone knows, I was good in church :) …mostly I’d sit there and draw alien landings on the back of the collection envelopes, then put them back in their slots before we left. That’s normal, right?

Comment by kathelldorfer

Lol. That sounds like an awesome time at the game. I love that you started yelling “Arrrrgh Pirates”, etc. That cracks me up!

Comment by triing2survive

lol When I did that, every kid in the dugout turned around and stared at me… not my problem, because I had a great time :)

Comment by kathelldorfer

I used to worry over your shyness. I am delighted you have recovered and know how to have a good time! HA as if you have ever tolerated boredom. I regret I passed that gene onto you- the FOB gene, Fear of Boredom.

Comment by Mom

Yeah, they were all mad here when I said I wanted to play with the AMMO team, not the Wing team if I was ever able to (NOT). Where’s the fun in that? Me to WG/CC: “Hey, SIR, where were you on that one, dipshit???”

Soooo many dumbass parents ruining sports. I’m glad you and your friend are making it fun for the kids.

Comment by Jo

We have a lot of fun, but I’m not going to lie… the entire time I’m constantly worrying about Chandra hopping the fence and beating the shit out of the head coach.

Comment by kathelldorfer

I say you get Chandra and Jordan to let me come next time. I will scare the coach into being a better role model. Besides what teenage boy wouldn’t want to tattooed chicks cheering for them. He can even say yea those are my baseball groupies those b#&$*es follow me everywhere!

Comment by Kathy

Hahaha I was being so loud and enthusiastic that Jordan’s teammates asked if I was his mom and he was all ‘no, but she belongs to us’

Comment by kathelldorfer

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