now is a good time to panic


guest post!
16 March 2012, 4:19 pm
Filed under: looooove, nonsense | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Hello all! Today we have a guest post by my dad… you lucky people, you. Enjoy!

Last week we noticed an upsurge of cats roaming our property. It happens periodically and I have learned to deal with it. Because they – along with raccoons and opossums rummage trash, I trap and relocate them. The cats are particularly annoying because of the prints left on my vehicles as they scratch their way across the hood, roof, and trunk.

Last week was different. I caught a small gray & white kitten and was ready to relocate it when my wife wandered out. It looked at her and started “talking”. She reached through the cage to touch it – a practice that is NOT wise – and it rubbed against her fingers. She proclaimed that, despite the lack of a collar, the animal must be someone’s pet. I was to release it “not too far away”.

Being the dutiful well trained husband, I did as told and took it across the street and back into the woods – on the other side of which there are houses. Maybe it belongs there, thought I. Then, naively, left for work.

About 3 hours later, the wife was doing laundry and the cat wandered into the laundry room and kept her company. When she left, it left and followed her around as she did some outside chores. She was in and out of the house and each time, the cat came over to greet her. When she would go inside, the cat would go back into the 1 car garage only to re-emerge for greetings each time the wife came outside. It was like a dog!

Now, I am a dog person; raised with a dachshund, went to college with a doberman, rescued a small setter/retriever early in our marriage, and tried to rescue a shepard when the kids were young. But I knew when the wife told me that she had offered the cat salmon and milk – I was going to become a cat person.

She proclaimed the animal to be a female kitten based on a quick check and its scrawny size and appearance. OK… Now it has to have a name. Just like the musical “CATS” instructs, we tried to get her to tell us her name. No would do. I even tried “Roadkill” and “Speedbump” – nothing! So, we came up with Grisabella – again from CATS – and based on her scruffy, scrawny appearance from which a beautiful cat would arise.

This is all on Saturday and we brought it inside and made plans to take it to the clinic on Tuesday for a checkup and shots. Well, on Sunday, again while I’m at work, the wife takes a closer look and sees that we have given a girl’s name to a boy kitten. Now, before you get too hysterical or proclaim us to be idiots, you have to realize that a male dog leaves no questions about his sexuality. He displays. A cat on the other-hand either has no self-esteem issues, or enjoys a game of “try to find out” with humans.

Now GrisaBella can’t be GrisaBella. So HOURS are spent researching for an appropriate name. Unlike dogs, who will answer to anything, apparently a cat has to approve the name you want to bestow upon it. We finally give into exhaustion and frustration and declare in hoarse voices that the kitten shall be called GrisaBeau. (Within hours, the kitten is due at the vet, and they become suspicious of your worthiness if you don’t even have a name for the animal.)

I have my own doctor’s appointment to go to, so I load the kitten into a cat crate (which I have laying around because I am a pack-rat and might someday have use for a cat crate). I figure that this is a bonding opportunity. We can ride together to our doctor’s appointments. But the kitten must have known that it wasn’t going to be an equal experience…

While I was going to make arrangement for a camera up the butt, he was going to get shots and arrange for a neutering. He went into the crate easily, but was restless on the journey. I swear he knew!

So the vet is looking over our stray kitten and explaining the difference between owning puppies and owning kittens, when she suddenly stops and sniggers, I assume at my ignorance. “Oh, my… (here it comes I am thinking, it IS a female and pregnant to boot) … this little boy is not a kitten. He’s somewhere between 3 & 5 years old.”

So now we are cat people. Owned by a cat named GrisaBeau who has ear mites, a scratched cornea on his right eye, ribs showing, and male-pattern-no-nads. And he is as loving, interested, and pleasant as any dog I have ever owned or met.

 

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3 Comments so far
Leave a comment

What a lovely story you tell and i know you love him because your words are sweet and wonderfully warm, just like you, dear Husband.

Comment by Susan

omg you guys. get a room!

Comment by kathelldorfer

What a cute story! Love it! Glad I’m not the only one who thought my cat (Klondike) was a girl and later on we figured out he was a boy. Sometimes I slip and still call Klondike a she. :) Grisabeau is lucky to have found you as owners.

Comment by triing2survive




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