now is a good time to panic

my b

Hello again! I’m sorry it’s been like a week since my last post. I have been very, very busy (HINT: my dog can now catch popcorn in his mouth… that’s how ‘busy’ I’ve been). Okay, maybe not that busy. I just didn’t feel like writing.


About my last post. My dad emailed me and told me that if I send him my sandals, he’ll try to fix them for me, because right now they look like ‘Caribbean refugees’. Thanks, dad. Kaiser’s tummy troubles are now better, thanks to a $196 vet visit. This dog is turning out to be waaaay more than I can afford, y’all. I’m not going to lie, though.. my vet is awesome. When I need to bring Kaiser over, he makes appointments up just for me. Literally. Creates appointments out of nothing. Also, his tech is BFFs with Kaiser. She and Kaiser are going to run away together any day now.


I went to the gym this morning a little later than usual and THERE WERE PEOPLE EVERYWHERE. Where did all these assholes come from? Seriously. I went at like 1030 instead of 0900, and the place was PACKED. It’s Friday, you guys. You should be leaving work early to go drink, not going to the gym on your lunch break so that I have to do my routine out of order. The good news is that there wasn’t a single cardio machine open (out of like 30- seriously), so when I skipped the stepper, I didn’t feel guilty. There are only like two steppers anyway. So there. In your FACE, cardio warmup!


Last night Jeff and one of his work friends, Chris, brought Kathy and I cheeseburgers from Teddy’s. We had them with pasta salad and deviled eggs. (Kathy makes the best deviled eggs ever. EVAR) It was the most fattening, most delicious dinner that I’ve had in a long time. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried Teddy’s burgers, but if you haven’t, you need to go do it right now. RIGHT NOW. NOW! GO! Just don’t get the 9 oz burger, because it’s impossible to finish. Get the 7 oz one. That one is still hard to finish, but it’s at least a little more realistic. Mine had bacon and American cheese and some kind of cheesy garlic-type sauce that makes my heart sing… or slowly get clogged with cholesterol. Whatever. Same thing. They also have garlic fries. Those are the shit. Not literal shit, though. That would be gross. Just amazingly yummy.


I would like to give a little recognition to the people that signed up to get my new blog posts in their email. It’s easier that way because you don’t have to get all excited to come to my site, then be a sad panda because there are no new blog posts. Anyway, talk about stroking my ego. I don’t even KNOW some of you! That is MOTHERFUCKING RADPANTS. So thanks. Just by clicking that ‘subscribe’ button, you have upped my self esteem into the ‘sunshine and rainbows’ category. Normally that takes a compliment from a gay man and a lot of caffeine.


That is all for today. Word to your mothers.


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